


Nightmares

by amuk



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Community: 31_days, Death, Fear, Gen, Loss, Nightmares, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 13:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If she forgets this nightmare, these heartaches, she fears she will lose everything</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up a bit darker than I expected.
> 
> Day/Theme: March 23 // don't want to forget come daylight

There are things that she sometimes sees. They are blurred pictures, photographs faded and wrinkled over time. The people in them change, constantly, yet remain the same for eternity.   
  
It only happens at night, when she's locked away in her room. The walls collapse, squeezing her tight, before suddenly dissolving. Then, there is nothing but her and a shadowy moon. It follows her through these dreams, eating the clouds one by one as Lenalee traipses down a lane of would-be memories and haunting nightmares.    
  
She starts at the top of a destroyed building--home?--climbing down until she splashes in a lake. A silvery tendril floats past her, leading her to the rotting land.  
  
( _Lavi stares, vacantly, at her, correcting her as she approaches, "I'm Issei,"--)_  
  
It doesn't help if she tries to stay awake all night, doesn't help if she cowers in a corner, trying to block out the blood. The images come--the broken bones, the mutilated bodies, the expressions of pain. Mops of white and red hair mix together, a scenery of white covering them, and all she can see are-- _NO, NO, NO,_ \--the accusing fingers, the twitching muscles. A choking gasp comes out of nowhere and she starts.  
  
( _\--Allen crumples at her feet, his eye gouged out, his arm missing, and a clown mask covering his face)_  
  
-Hello-  
  
Is that her voice? She doesn't know and she can't tell. The wind tears it away from her, shredding it to pieces, and a pair of bright eyes stare at her through the space. Near her (or is it far from her? distance is hard to understand here), she sees crows circling a body.  
  
Who can it be, she almost wants to ask. She thinks if she does, she might not be able to take another step forward. Who's gone now? Miranda? Marie? Krory?  
  
Squish. The ground squishes with each step.   
  
Why is she seeing these things?   
  
-Stop-  
  
This time she can't even make out the words. Something laughs behind her, in front of her, inside of her. Something dark and heavy and she can barely swallow, it buries her so.   
  
Something in her begs for a release. The crows transform into crosses, Noah's crosses, and she can almost make out Road's face, can see Tyki's cards.   
  
A sea of red greets her when she is close enough and she nearly gags at the smell.   
  
Then she sees--  
  
Silver flashes, rude insults, a calm aura, a weary smile.  
  
\--him.  
  
Something screams.  
  
 _She_ screams.  
  
His black hair scatters at the touch, his face in a permanent grimace.   
  
No. This isn't real.  
  
Kanda doesn't get up when she shakes him. There is no yelling, no angry looks, nothing.  
  
 _Nothing._  
  
She backs away, slowly, nearly tripping over another body.  
  
( _Oh sunny smiles, where have you gone?)_  
  
Allen's mask slides off and the face mirrors the mask.   
  
She starts to run. Run.   
  
\--Lavi's hammer stands, a tree, a marker of his life.  
  
Run.  
  
She rushes past them, ignoring the steady squelch as her feet sink in and out of the ground. Her boots don't work here. She doesn't know if she wants them to.  
  
Then she sees the final body and--  
  
''I'm here.'' _Nii-chan._ __  
  
\--all she can stare at is his hand, still holding his coffee mug.  
  
This time something breaks.

  
-x-

Lenalee wakes up after this, wakes up after cradling his limp form in her trembling arms. And as she tries to brush off her dream (never mind that she sees this night after  night now), she tries to force on a determined smile.  
  
Strength, that is what she needs. She can't let this happen. She _won_ ' _t_  let this happen.

  
-x-

The shadowy moon follows her and she reluctantly climbs down her ruined towers, the ancient rock crumbling with each step as she descends.  


End file.
